Billy-Ray Belcourt's debut memoir opens with a tender letter to his kokum and memories of his early life in the hamlet of Joussard, Alberta, and on the Driftpile First Nation. From there, it expands to encompass the big and broken world around him, in all its complexity and contradictions: a legacy of colonial violence and the joy that flourishes in spite of it, first loves and first loves lost, sexual exploration and intimacy, and the act of writing as a survival instinct and a way to grieve. What emerges is not only a profound meditation on memory, gender, anger, shame, and ecstasy, but also the outline of a way forward. 2020.

An NDN Boyhood -- A History of My Brief Body -- Futuromania -- Gay: 8 Scenes -- Loneliness in the Age of Grindr -- Fragments from a Half-Existence -- An Alphabet of Longing -- Robert -- Notes from an Archive of Injuries -- Please Keep Loving: Reflections on Unlivability -- Fatal Naming Rituals -- To Hang Our Grief Up to Dry.